Before Happiness

I love this book & am going to buy it! 

1.  Choose the most valuable reality:
-recognize the existence of multiple realities by changing the details your brain chooses to focus on.
-See a greater range of realities by adding vantage points and seeing the world from a broader perspective.
-Select the most valuable reality that is both positive and true

2.  Mental maps
-identify and set better goals using markers of meaning
-chart more direct routes to goals
-map success routes before escape routes

3.  Success accelerants
-zoom in on the target, make it seem closer
-magnify the target size
-decrease energy required

4.  Noise canceling
-cancel negative or useless noise
-learn the 4 criteria of noise
-reduce overall volume of noise
-learn to cancel out noise of worry, fear, anxiety, & pessimism by 3 waves of positive energy
---wave 1--I will keep my worry in proportion to the likelihood of the event
---wave 2--I will not ruin 10,000 days to be right on a handful
---wave 3--I will not equate worrying with being loving or responsible

5.  Positive inception
-transfer positive reality to others
-create easy to replicate positive patterns & habits & help them spread
-take the power lead
-appeal to emotion & craft shared, meaningful narratives
-create renewable, sustainable source of positive energy that motivates & energizes those around you

p. 91-92
...fundamental attribution error, which is the human tendency to judge our own behavior based on context but to attribute others' behabior to their character...We need to give others the same benefit of the doubt that we give ourselves.  Not doing so is a counterproductive error that results from putting ourselves on the center of our maps.  But by consciously choosing to reorient our maps so that we try to explain others' behavior on the basis of context rather than character, we can slowly begin to expand the borders of our mental universe.

p. 175
1.  How often has this negative event happened to me in the past?
2.  How often does this negative event happen to people in my situation?

p. 189
The 10/5 Way involves just a few behavioral rules:  If a guest walks by a Ritz employee within 10 feet, the employee should make eye contact and smile.  If that guest walks by within five feet, the employee should say "Hello." 

p. 192
Our personalities may be distinct and unique, but our brains are highly interconnected; they are linked on a wireless mirror network.
...our thoughts and perceptions are what dictate our nonverbal actions

picture choices

The Storied Life of AJ Fikry

Why is any one book different from any other book?  They are different, AJ decides, because they are.  We have to look inside many.  We have to believe.  We agree to be disappointed sometimes so that we can be exhilarated every now and again.

We read to know we're not alone.  We read because we are alone.  We read and we are not alone.  We are not alone.  My life is in theese books, he wants to tell her.  Read these and know my heart.

We aren't the things we collect, acquire, read.  We are, for as long as we are here, only love.  The things we loved.  The people we loved.  And these, I think these really do live on.

The Deck Dilemma

Our house originally had a 2 level patio.  The higher level is beside the fence and currently has the trampoline on it.  Seriously, the yard is so shallow that it won't fit anywhere else.  There is a new-ish 8' deep deck running part of the length of the house, as you can see.  I have 2 problems with the deck.  First, it overlaps the original patio some, but doesn't extend all the way past the french doors.  (For that matter, the step to go out the door is also oddly small.)  So I would love to extend the deck over part of the existing patio.  Second, the deck isn't wide enough for a table & chairs.  The old owners put theirs on the higher patio but for the forseeable future that's where the trampoline will be.  I would love to extend a part of the existing deck (or the new extension of the deck) so that it would fit a table & chairs.

We would LOVE your recommendations!!!

thanks & much love,
Russ & Cindy